A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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