Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
