I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
