I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
