Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
