If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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