worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
