Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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