its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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