As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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