People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
