Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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