I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
