Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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