false alarm. still invincible.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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