If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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