Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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