Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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