i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
