Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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