hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
