I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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