I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
