i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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