Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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