We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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