i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
