Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
