Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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