My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
