I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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