I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
