If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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