I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
