After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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