even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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