I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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