Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
