I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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