i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
