I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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