Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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