If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
