well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
