i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
