Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
