idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
