This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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