Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
