Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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