Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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