it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
