I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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