Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
