Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
