im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
