There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
